Vegeta vs. McDonald's
by Jumi
Summary: Vegeta goes on a rampage at a local McDonald's! He has some anger control issues, huh? Whee again!


Vegeta vs McDonald's

Vegeta Vs. McDonald's   
by   
Robert Silvers

"Well, sir, what will it be?" the clerk asked impatiently. 

"Quiet! Don't you dare to question the prince of the Saiya-jins!" Vegeta scolded as he continued to look at the list of foods behind the register. "What trash..." he continued. "All of this food is so unhealthy. Not worthy of consumption by a Saiyan. Why on Earth does Bulma like this stuff?" 

"Well, what do you want?" the clerk asked yet again. 

"I said quiet!" Vegeta yelled. "Get me an order of chicken nuggets. They're not for me, they're for my wife. I wouldn't eat this unhealthy crap." 

"Off the record, I don't blame you," the clerk said. When Vegeta was less-than-amused, he tallied up the bill. "That's five dollars and sixty-four cents, sir." 

"What outrageous prices!" Vegeta exclaimed as he handed over several dollars. 

"Thank you, sir," the clerk said as he handed Vegeta's change back. "One order of Chicken McNuggets coming up!" 

Vegeta walked over to a table and sat down. He noticed the manager eyeing him suspiciously. 

"Hey," the manager said to the clerk. "Do you know who that is?" 

"No," the clerk replied. "Who?" 

"That's Vegeta!" 

"Huh?" the clerk asked. 

"Vegeta!" the manager said again. "The guy that tried to blow up Earth several years ago. I won't have that piece of alien trash in our restaurant!" The manager promptly stomped over to Vegeta's table. Vegeta looked up with a glare. 

"Can I help you?" Vegeta asked in a tone mocking that of the employees. 

"Are you Vegeta?" the manager asked. 

"So what if I am?" Vegeta said. 

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," the manager continued. 

"I'll leave when I get my food," Vegeta said, not moving a muscle. 

"Get out... now," the manager said. 

Vegeta looked at him as he grabbed him by the shirt collar. "I said I'll leave when I get my food!" Vegeta yelled. 

The clerk at this time produced a shotgun from behind the counter. "Let him go!" he announced. 

"What is this?" Vegeta asked. "What kind of a restaurant are you running?" 

"Just get out..." the manager said. Vegeta pitched the manager off to the side, ran over, and took the gun away from the clerk, and broke it over his knee. 

"How pathetic," he said. He grabbed the clerk and heaved him through the front window. The manager ran back to the kitchen. 

"Get him!" the manager yelled to the cooks. Three of them advanced toward Vegeta. 

"You people certainly are stupid," Vegeta said. "Taking on the prince of the Saiya-jins like this." He grabbed one and tossed him into a table. The next he threw into the ice cream machine, covering him in ice cream. The third ran away and hopped through the drive-thru window. 

"Now for you!" Vegeta said as he glared at the manager. 

"Oh no you don't!" the manager shouted as he opened the door to the freezer. "You're more trouble than that green guy!" He then ran into the freezer. 

"Green guy?" Vegeta asked himself. "Could that be Piccolo? He has been missing for a few days. Oh well, I guess I'll find out soon enough. This idiot just ran into a dead end." Vegeta flew off toward the freezer. 

Upon examining the freezer, Vegeta found that it was not a dead end at all, but that there was a secret passage. Vegeta entered and walked a little ways into what seemed to be a dark, dank dungeon passage. 

"Damn," Vegeta said. "Why do I always have to get in these stupid situations? Why doesn't this kind of crap ever happen to Kakarott?" He trudged on until he came to a door. At first he thought about not opening it, but then he heard some sounds from the inside. 

"Hmm..." Vegeta thought aloud. "I might as well go inside." He blasted the door off and saw Piccolo inside a glowing cage. 

"What on Earth?" Vegeta asked. 

"Vegeta? What are you doing here?" Piccolo asked. "Eh... doesn't matter. The manager locked me in this cage. It captures and stores any energy blasts I try to hit it with. The control panel is on the wall." 

Vegeta thought for a moment whether he should let Piccolo out or not and how either way it would help him. Finally, since he was determined the kill the manager for cheating him, he decided to let Piccolo out since he might be familiar with the manager's tricks. He walked over to the control panel and pressed a few buttons. When that failed to produce any results, he pressed a few more. Nothing happened, so he finally ended up blasting it. The cage seemed to be drained of energy. 

"Finally," Piccolo said as he blasted some of the bars out of the way. "Now I'm going to get that manager! Somebody's gonna pay!" 

"Correction," Vegeta said. "I'm going to get the manager. I suppose you can come along if you like, though it really makes little difference." 

The two left to continue down the hallway. Finally they came to another door, only this one was a large iron gate. Vegeta yanked it off of the hinges with little effort, smirking at Piccolo. Piccolo smiled back, following Vegeta in. 

"What the-?" they both said in unison as they saw an elevator. "It looks like... an elevator..." Piccolo said. 

"I can see that!" Vegeta said, examining it more closely. "It is an elevator... but why?" Just that time, a huge beast looking like a giant centipede came up from behind Piccolo. Piccolo jumped forward and turned. 

"The hell?" Piccolo asked as he looked at Vegeta. He jumped out of the way just before the monster raked a claw at him. 

Vegeta grinned, then flew in close and began beating on the monster's "face." It didn't seem to have any effect as the monster swatted Vegeta out of the way. Vegeta hit the wall and fell. Piccolo blasted a beam at it's face, which also seemed to have little effect. It stood up over the two warriors and let out a ferocious roar. 

"That's it!" Vegeta exclaimed. "It's skeleton is hard as a rock, but we can attack it's belly!" Vegeta shot a blast knocking the creature back. Piccolo acknowledged this and let loose another blast which knocked the creature back some more. He grinned once again and flew at the creature's exposed underbelly. Piccolo wasn't far behind. They entered its abdomen and plowed through it as it screeched in pain. Vegeta emerged covered in muck and grinned. Piccolo also emerged and flew to the top of the room. 

"Looks like it's time..." Vegeta began. "For you to go... TO ANOTHER DIMENSION!" He promptly yanked the weakened beast's head off and shot a blast down it's throat, nearly incinerating it. "Hmph," he smirked. 

"Well, that was easy," Piccolo said. "Now let's see where this elevator goes." He went up and pushed the up button, the only button there, and shortly the elevator opened. He and Vegeta got in and pushed the button for the top floor. They waited, and before long the doors dinged back open. 

What they saw was a huge office building with suits walking around everywhere. They noticed the secretary, who was being hit on by the very man they were chasing, the manager of the McDonald's! He noticed them and sprinted into another room. Vegeta and Piccolo set off after him. 

When they finally flew into the room, they noticed that it was meeting of some type. About ten people in suits were sitting around a table, and Vegeta with his blue jumpsuit, Piccolo in his loose clothing and cape, and the manager in his McDonald's uniform looked horribly out of place. The man at the head of the table grinned. 

"Welcome, Piccolo, Vegeta," he said. "I knew if I captured Piccolo, someone would come to save him. I hoped it would be Goku, or his son, but you're good enough." 

"Good enough?" Vegeta asked in disbelief. "I AM VEGETA, PRINCE OF THE SAIYA-JIN! I AM THE MOST POWERFUL SAIYAN IN THE UNIVERSE! I AM NOT MERELY GOOD ENOUGH!" 

"Settle down, Vegeta," Piccolo said. "It doesn't matter what these jerks think." 

"You see," the man at the head of the table said, "My plan it to gather the world's greatest fighters and have them become slaves to McDonald's! And you will be the first since you stumbled here to rescue Piccolo!" 

"Piccolo? I came here to get some chicken nuggets," Vegeta said. Piccolo grimaced. "And besides," Vegeta continued, "I'm no one's slave. Period." 

"You don't really have a choice," the man continued. "You join us... or you die." 

Piccolo and Vegeta both smirked. "Your power is weak," Piccolo said. "You'd be lucky if you could get off one punch before you were feeding the worms." 

"Perhaps," the man said, "But my assistant is very powerful. Meet..." As he said this, a huge robot thumped into the room. "ED-209!" 

"DROP YOUR WEAPONS! CEASE AND DESIST!" it said. 

"Pathetic," Vegeta said. "Besides, he's the one I came for!" He pointed at the manager and flew across the room to get him. ED-209 began shooting at Vegeta, and Piccolo attacked it. Vegeta ignored it, since all he really cared about was getting to the manager. Once he had him, he tossed him out the window, and as he plummeted fifty stories, Vegeta final flashed him to the next dimension. 

"Um, Vegeta," Piccolo said as he dodged ED-209's shots and punches. "A little help would be great." 

"You're doing fine," Vegeta said as he continued to blast at the various suits who ran and hid. Finally Vegeta advanced toward the only one left, the man at the head of the table. ED-209 ignored Piccolo and advanced toward Vegeta. Piccolo hopped behind it and began powering up his Special Beam Canon. 

"CEASE AND DESIST!" ED-209 said to Vegeta as Vegeta was roughing up the man, who was indeed the president of McDonald's. 

"He's quite loyal," the president said. "Perhaps you should do as he says." 

"Perhaps you should shut up," Vegeta said as he punched the president across the room, before blasting ED-209 and knocking him back. ED-209 stumbled a bit, then continued advancing toward Vegeta. Unfortunately for it, its advance was cut short as it was hit through the back with a Special Beam Canon, blowing it to bits. Piccolo grinned at Vegeta, who smirked back, then advanced toward the president. 

"It seems your little scheme has been foiled," Vegeta said. 

"What do you think we should do with this little punk?" Piccolo asked. 

"I say we give him a one-way ticket to another dimension," Vegeta said. 

"No, not that... please... we can cut a deal..." he begged. Vegeta and Piccolo ignored him as they both blasted him to the next dimension. 

"Hmph," Vegeta said. "Pathetic restaurant." 

"All I wanted to do was use the restroom," Piccolo said. "And now those stupid fools have lost their company. I hope they're happy." 

"Who cares?" Vegeta said as he jumped out the window and flew off. 

Piccolo looked around at the charred corpses for a moment, then flew off as well. 

* * * * *

"Vegeta," Bulma shouted. "I'm glad your home! Did you get the food?" 

"No, woman," Vegeta said. "It just so happens I had to fight for my life alongside that Namek." 

"Piccolo?" Bulma asked. "What on Earth did you two do?" 

"Hmph," Vegeta said. "They tried to cheat me. So I basically destroyed their company." 

"Well," Bulma said, obviously steamed, "I can't let you go out for ten minutes without you destroying something! What kind of role-model is that for our son?" 

"Silence, woman!" Vegeta said. "I'm a Saiya-jin warrior. I'm the prince of the Saiyans. If Earthlings insist on provoking fights with me, then they deserve what they get when they find I am invincible." 

Bulma sighed. "What am I gonna do with you, Vegeta?" she asked. Vegeta had already walked off into the gravity room to train. 

THE END


End file.
